How Much Is This?

Ahh, crazy days. Let me share the stories.

“I was gonna buy some Halloween pencils for the kids, but then I thought the kids might be scared of them, so I got erasers instead.”
 [Kim's reply: What? So they can choke on them?]

Alyx vs. Dollar Alley
 Thursday night, everything decided to attack me. Well, it seemed like it anyway. We had just gotten a huge Christmas shipment in, and people were flowing in and out. It started around 6:30, when I heard a loud crash while I was helping a customer. With my fingers crossed, I gently opened the stockroom door. Two words: Stuff. Everywhere. One of the rickety ’structures’ that had been built had collapsed, and there were Christmas ornaments everywhere. Thankfully, none were broken, but I was glad I had been up front and not in the back when it happened. And then, the scissors decided to cut me while I was doing balloons, so my thumb still has a scar. To finish off my day, I fell off the ladder and scraped my arm up. Fun, fun.

Would anyone like 32 latex balloons in 25 minutes? Call beforehand!!!

“I’m buying a whole bunch of nametags for my Halloween costume. I’m gonna be a multiple personality!”

A lady and nephew bring some posterboard up.
 ”Would you like me to rubberband it for you?” Kim asks.
 ”Oh don’t worry, it’s just for his costume,” the woman says. “Oh, no, wait. Yeah, he’s not gonna be a posterboard for Halloween.”

What A Day

“Do you have super glue? I need to super glue my dog back together.”
 I was instantly disturbed, but then, I figured it was a porcelain dog or something. But no, she insisted on continuing to tell me that she needed super glue [which of course, we have].
 ”Oh, yeah, it’s for my dog,” she told me happily while checking out. “I superglued my kid’s head back together when she was three.”
 Ok, so I can kinda understand in place of stitches … but telling your cashier over and over is just a little disturbing.

 By law, we’re required to check the back of credit cards to see if they’ve authorized it with their signature. Well, I turned a card over the other day, and was created by a swear word. It instantly went through my head that I had just missed the name the first time, and it was her name (it wasn’t). Then, I thought she was just mad at people for checking the ID, but I mean, hello, state law. So, very hesitantly, I asked her if I could see some ID. She laughed, realizing I had seen the back. “Oh, that’s just my bank password. I lose it if I put it anywhere else.” [Would someone like to explain why a cuss word is your bank password?]

Random Line of the Day
 Dude, I talked to Brett, and he’s not going to jail.

A perky young woman, she came up to the counter with duct tape.
 ”I hope it works for whatever you’re fixing,” I tell her.
 She laughed. “Oh, it’s just for people’s mouths.”

Have you ever seen a deer caught in the headlights of a car? Its eyes are wide open and it kinda looks shocked for sometime. Well, a woman came in looking exactly like that. I was a little concerned, but it made a lot more sense when I heard her confide to another customer that her car had just been dented in the parking lot.

Manager’s Pick
 A woman came into the dollar store, and started looking around. She picked up an item, came up to the counter, and asked, “How much is this?”
 ”It’s a dollar,” Kim replied.
 ”Is there anyway you can give me a discount?” was the reply.
 [Hello?? It's a dollar store!!]

Flashback Tagged the Night’s Last

Well, turns out I found my piece of paper with all my notes from Saturday, so you get two days in one this entry!! (I missed a few stories last time.)

Normally, when there is only one item, I ask if the customer would like a bag. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, depending on whether or not they go to Giant afterwards. If they already have a bag, I offer to put it in the one they have, cause it’s one less bag if you just throw them away. This conversation was priceless:
 ”Would you like another bag, or do you just want me to throw it in this one?”
 ”Throw it in the bag; save a plastic tree.”

Inventive Story of the Day
 For all you college peoples (or who are heading to college), I picked up a fascinating tip from a woman who was buying mini M&M containers. Buy a few, empty out the chocolate (of course), and keep the containers to hold quarters for wash. Pretty nifty.

And of course, I mess up too. Late Saturday night, I had a person come in and ask for some item we didn’t have. I meant to say, “I’m sorry,” but it came out, “Thank you.” (same voice inflection) The man just stared at me, and, realizing my mistake, I tried to fix it. “I mean, thank you for telling me, and I’m sorry we don’t have it, but thanks for letting me know so I can see if we can find it somewhere and get it in.” Yeah, I think he left more confused than when he started.

A Touch of Irony
 A woman came in around 2pm. She didn’t really know what she was saying, just kinda blinked a lot and motioned with her hands that she wanted the things you drink the stuff out of that are really small and we have them somewhere. If I hadn’t thought otherwise, I would’ve believed she was drunk – and truth be told, she wanted to know where the shotglasses were.

Boy, people sure can scare me sometime. This older woman comes in gasping, and being me, I thought she might’ve just run from the grocery store or something. She can hardly speak, but I manage to get out ‘inhaler’ and ‘fast’. She puts her purse on the counter, and I honestly thought she was going to pass out. I was about to call 911, when she did manage to find her inhaler and slow her breathing. She smiled, “Don’t ever get old.”

Awkward/Strange Story of the Day
 Daughter: Hey, Mom. This is 10 cents.
 Mom: Wow, they’re, oh, sticky earrings!! Remember how you got them stuck up your nose once??

 I can’t quite explain my reaction when a woman came up with a sigh of relief over Christmas tags. “I’m so glad they’re in English,” she explained. “You see, last year, I grabbed a pack without really looking at them, and sure enough, they were all in Spanish.”

 The Register (which still needs a name (Reggie, Dave, and Josh are in circulation now)) and I apparently have come to a silent truce. It went the whole night without beeping at me, finished the reciept perfectly even though it was almost out of paper, and even accepted the new paper right away. It’s a good sign. The vacuum, on the other hand, may still need a bit of work.

Cleanup in Aisles 1, 2, 3, 4 …

Man, Saturdays just happen to be the longest period I work, which means twice as much craziness.

Ok, not to downplay Dollar Alley, but it’s not THAT big of a store. You can imagine my confusion when an older woman comes up to the counter, and says, “I need some help in the doily department.” (That wasn’t in the job description ….)

I’ve decided all the stores on the strip have an interesting relationship with each other, especially when it comes to Giant. We had a Giant cashier (still on duty) come over and evacuate a customer to sign a reciept … a little freaky.

Then there was the three year old. Ah, three year olds. Well, first, we discovered her licking the candles. Well, ok, so they smell good; I guess I never really thought about if they would taste good or not. She didn’t exactly put the candles back either – that would be too simple. Nope, she made a trail of candles through the store. When she ran out of candles, she grabbed the nearest item to her: a backscratcher. That made it halfway up another aisle before she discovered the toilet plunger. She began galloping around the store with it, like she was a knight, and chased her older sister. No one was getting near her! It was kinda sad when she left cause she had been so funny, until we had to clean up everything.

Anal Retentive Story of the Day
 This section is also known as The Undecided Story. I had a woman and her mom come in to order some balloons for next Sunday. They had a baby shower in a few days, and wanted to match the tablecloths. The woman was either very indecisive or very tired. She argued with everything she said, and her mom disagreed with everything beyond that. Out of our 20 or so collection of latex balloons, I had to pull out 15 different colors and designs, which went in multiple arrangements. They almost started going through the mylar cabinet too, but thankfully, they got tired of arguing with each other. It only took 45 minutes to pick out balloons! *rolls eyes*

It’s funny what guys will do for entertainment. Two teens came in and bought punching gloves, a nerf dart gun, and an airplane. About 3 minutes after they leave, Kim bursts into laughter. Giving her a look, I ask her what’s so funny.
 ”Those two boys just chased each other around the parking lot with punching gloves,” she laughed. “Now, they’re shooting each other with the nerf dart gun.”
 (And if you didn’t guess, after they were tired of that, they built the airplane.)

A little later, we had another three year old come in. He had apparently just fallen down on the sidewalk, but wasn’t crying, so I congratulated him. He exclaimed, “Man, that sidewalk is made of wood!!”
 ”Concrete, darling,” his grandmother corrected him. “It’s concrete.”

The Dumpster Diggers
 Around 7:30pm, we had a group come in who had just come from digging in the dumpster. They had found a Verizon sign, an open sign, and some other random junk. (Apparently, they were trying to take the Rental Return box too; they were unsuccessful, but believe me, we saw them coming.) I have never seen three guys so excited about the dollar store. “Yeah, for Halloween, we can rock the old school dollar store costumes!”

 They tried on everything from masks, to glittery hats, to fire chief hats. One of the most priceless moments was when the shortest one (and the one who got made fun of the most) said, “Hey, we should get matching outfits!!”
 ”Yeah!” the tallest one said. “If we’re gay!”

 ”Can you put these glow sticks in your mouth?” the tall one said.
 ”No,” I answered, wondering why on earth you would put any glowstick in your mouth.
 ”Can you?” the tall one said, not listening.
 ”She said no,” the middle one said.
 ”Can you put these glow sticks in your mouth?” the tall one asked again, ignoring his friend.
 ”She said no! Do you want to die?!?” was the ignored one’s answer.

 To close off our crazy day, the tallest one started talking on the phone once he decided to pay. “I’m just aimlessly shopping at the dollar store.”
 That was obvious. He just kept giving Kim money, not even thinking what he was paying. She could’ve asked for a twenty, and he would’ve given it to her. That was obvious by the way he gave her all his change, and then some.

PS Thanks to all my readers!!! I’m now the first link on Google if you look up Dollar Alley. Stay posted! I’m working tonight.

My Life is Flourescent Orange

What a crazy night. But let’s start with a flashback:

Flashback:
   We do a big balloon business. We normally encourage people to bring their cars up to the door, so it’s a smaller distance to walk and less of a chance of losing balloons. Well, one guy came up to pick up 40+ balloons, in a convertable.

Well, not to rush the holidays, but a woman came in and bought 10 boxes of Christmas cards. Whoa!! She assured me that it was for a school project, NOT for her.

A middle-aged couple was wandering around the store for awhile, and came up to the counter with a box of cat food. Trying to make conversation, I say, “I hope your cat enjoys the food!!”
 The man stops in midstep. “Well, it’s not for my cat.”
 A little concerned he’s going to eat it himself, I ask, “Oh, really?”
 He says, “Yes. It’s for my dog. It’s the only thing he eats.”

There was also a woman yelling at her 5 year old, “You’re not getting a special treat, because you lied to me at daycare!!”

A Giant Story
 I was cleaning up around the register, when I hear some of the Giant employees chanting and cheering outside of Giant. Curious, I take a look. It turns out that the guy who gets the carts was being chased by the rain – and people cheered (and booed) when he made it without getting wet).

And to close off my night (through which it rained cats and dogs), as I was closing, another random Giant employee stopped to wave at me. Yep, strange.