And The Cash Register Has Been Named…

It’s official. It’s new name is Murphy. He’s named after Murphy’s law, which to refresh your memory, is:

“Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way.”

Which pretty much, still happens. For example, Murphy decided to eat a dollar right when I needed it. Then, he opened randomly while I was taking a balloon order. He also ate a quarter and tried to take a dollar that I had in my hand that I was taking out. So, from this point on, if I ever refer to Murphy, it means the register.

Somehow this weekend, I managed to sell half a snowman. How is that possible, you ask. Well, it was a snow man that came in two pieces – and someone brought up only the top. I remember looking at it funny, but I just figured I was being strange again. Anyway, what’s left will be a great penny jar – just a bottom and blue shoes.

And the woman who never speaks actually spoke and smiled a bit this weekend. That’s a good sign.

Duck and Cover
And then there was the weight situation. No, not physical weight – the balloon weight. You see, we were doing another 50th birthday balloon bouquet, and Kim promised the woman a black weight: totally forgetting we were out of black. So, we decided to make a weight, out of a black balloon and another weight. I thought we should use yellow because no one buys yellow weights. As we pulled the balloon over half of it, we suddenly realized it looked like a bomb. Yeah. So if anyone is interested in a bomb balloon weight, let us know.

We must have itchy plates. We found a tube of calamine lotion on top of them.

Funny Money
 One woman confused a five for a one – and gave me the five.
 Another woman could’ve swore she gave me a ten, but it was actually only a one.

And to finish off the weekend, the flower place across the parking lot had a live reindeer – which managed to freak me out a little but it was actually pretty cool.

Stay tuned. Holiday craziness is only beginning….

An Uneventful Evening

Last night (Tuesday) was pretty crazy. Lots of people. Josh (Giant guy number 1) came in and hung out for awhile. It was pretty funny when he blew up a balloon, and stuck it in his shirt so it looked like he was pregnant. Kim popped it, of course.

 And I’m excited to report there is a possible Giant guy number 7 and 8. Giant guy number 7 is named Eric, and I’ve always called him “the cart man”. He normally brings in the carts from the parking lot about the time I put the stuff from our cart outside inside. So that was pretty nifty. And Giant guy number 8 – well, he was friends with 6 and 7 and yeah. That’s all I know.

Stay in tune with the blog. The holidays are coming. Christmas = CRAZY Beyond All Insanity.

Chaos on a Tuesday

Dollar Alley just keeps getting more and more interesting.

The Balloon Upset
 ”Those balloons will be great. Thanks,” the woman said, smiling.
 ”Would you like a balloon weight with it, to hold it down?” I ask.
 ”Yes, please,” she digs through her purse.
 ”What color would you like?”
 ”Oh gosh!! Just give me the white one!!”

Register decided not to like me last night … He beeped incessantly 6 times in 40 minutes.

Story of the Night
 ”I was wondering if you had more Christmas balls,” the woman asked me. “I know you had some outside, but I couldn’t find any.”
 I look around, and not finding them, determine to call Kim. “Where are the Christmas balls?”
 Well, after several minutes of arguing about the rack [I thought she meant card rack; she meant outside rack], we figured out that she was actually talking about the Christmas bows. “Balls! B-A-L-L-S.” I spell, while trying to watch the other 5 people in the store.
 ”Oh!” Kim says on the other end of the phone line. “They’re in the back, on the pile of boxes by the thermostat. They should be on top.”
 I go in the back after thanking her. And of course, they’re NOT on top of the pile … they’re halfway down, under 6 other boxes.
 I walk back out to the counter to see if the woman is still interested. She is, so I’m about to head back when a guy with a Fire Engine Walkie Talkie toy that’s going off comes up to me. “It won’t turn off,” he explains.
 It’s bothering customers, so I take it and throw it in the stockroom – forgetting that I have to go back to the stockroom to get the balls. The Fire Engine noise that went off for 25 minutes straight didn’t help the mood.
 And meanwhile, I had been moving tape around, so there were boxes and tape everywhere …

Random Story of the Day
 A customer opens the door; at that exact moment, a car squeals to a halt out at the stop light.

The Irony of It All
 So, Giant guy number 5 came over after he finished working, and I finally got his name. (Yep, random Giant guys number 5 and 6 are official now with the position). He just started working at Giant on Sunday, which was why he was so excited that someone else worked on the same strip other than just him and his best friend that was his age. But the irony? Giant guy number 5 took the place of Giant guy number 4 – who was apparently fired last week.

To all my readers, thanks for checking up on the site! I will be trying to update more regularly, and don’t be afraid to refer someone over here. I love knowing I can make anyone smile. Also, there is a link on the right that reads “Pass the malk, please.” It’s the link to a girl’s website who is eating dollar store food ONLY for a whole month. Feel free to check it out! Have a great day!

>EDIT<: New Look. Do you like it … or not?

A Night of Nothingness

So nothing really funny happened tonight at the dollar store. Monday nights tend to be pretty slow anyway.

So I’ve decided to give the story of the random Giant guys!! Haha. They have numbers more than names – although a few names I do actually know.

 A random Giant guy is defined as a guy [who normally works at Giant] who comes to the dollar store and actually makes interesting conversation, and comes back more than once.

Let’s start with random Giant guy number 1 also known as “John” on here, even though that’s not his real name. He’s been coming into the dollar store since long before I worked there. “John” befriended Kim, and I was introduced to him as he’s allowed to do pretty much anything here, as long as he’s not upsetting customers. He was a cashier at Giant for awhile, but then he went to college and now works at FedEx … or UPS … or maybe the post office … something like that.

Random Giant guy number 2, aka “copycat Giant guy number 1″. He insisted that he was just like “John” – but it took a little time to figure that one. He also worked at Giant over at the gas station; then, he went to college and visits occasionally.

Random Giant guy number 3. He actually didn’t work at Giant, but at the Tae Kwan Do studio next door. However, he, number 2, and number 1 were all best friends through Tae Kwan Do, so he was grouped as Giant guy number 3. He was great at helping, and helped me whenever I needed him. Plus he could tie balloons (HUGE bonus) when I couldn’t.

Random Giant guy number 4. He was actually not related to 1, 2, or 3. He came into the dollar store to borrow the phone because his died, and his mom still hadn’t picked him up. He ended up waiting an hour and a half for her to show up that night. (Turns out his sister had accidentally unplugged the phone line.)

And Random Giant guy numbers 5 and 6 came in tonight. I’m not sure if they will be permanent or temporary, but I was greeted with, “Wow, that’s so cool, we all work on the same strip.” Random Giant guy number 5 actually worked at Giant, and all I know is that his birthday is after mine, so he was disappointed cause I was older, ha! Random Giant guy number 6 actually works at Subway – but hey, he knows a Giant guy.

So yes, Random Giant guys. (Giant being the grocery store by the way). Wasn’t that a lovely little piece?

The BreakUp

A guy walks in (possibly gay – but then again, maybe not). He is speaking with determination in his voice, and at first, I wonder if he’s talking to me. But what did I ever do to him? So that wasn’t it.

I began to wonder if he was talking to himself. That is, until I saw the bluetooth in his ear.

Well, then, I really hoped he was at least talking to an answering machine, cause I couldn’t believe he was having this conversation in public. But no, of course not.

So what exactly am I talking about? Let me give you an excerpt of the conversation:

I am tired of putting up with you. If you wanna be with me, you need to get a job, get a car, get a life, and then, you can come find me. People want me. I could go find the perfect person, but I’m gonna wait for the right person to find me. People told me to stand up to you, and I am.