The Adventures of Working at a Dollar Store.

[A.k.a. A Refresher Course of My Life at Dollar Alley.]

1. You meet many strange and random people, including
      – coworkers (who are each insane in his or her own way)
      – the faithful customers (those who come every week, to the hour, on occasion)
      – those who are looking for the completely bizarre (corpses, inflatable pools, rugs)
      – not to mention many, if not all, of the employees of the surrounding shops (in my  case, a grocery store, the Subway, Chinese food place, a pizza place, and the former neighbor, a Tae Kwan Do school)

2. Inanimate objects become friends … or enemies, depending on his or her nature.
      – Charlie the lovely cash register on the right, who is always faithful.
      – The ladder that simply has no name … but refuses to close.
      – The streamers that tend to fall when anything gets near to it.
      – And of course, the infamous Murphy, the register that is really behind everything  that happens. Between eating money, puking, beeping incessently, and of course, causing other inanimate objects to jump off shelves, get stuck, or attack me.

3. Although it is a dollar store, the prices are still confusing.
     – Yes, almost everything is one dollar … but there are items four for a dollar and two for a dollar.
     – Tax is still a button that tends to elude me. Is it taxable or not?

4. Do not be surprised when strange events occur.
    – It’s a dollar store. What do you expect?

5. Never, never, never lose your cool. Don’t let it get to your brain – who wants to be a living dollar store?

Dollar Store = Stress Reliever?

For all those who were the least bit concerned about me, I am now sleeping just fine without dreams of shoplifters since I started updating.

Random Inanimate Objects
 So I walk out the back, and there are typically tractor trailers just hanging out and what not. However, I’m used to normal ones: the ones that say Giant, or have icecream on them from Turkey Hill, stuff like that. I really wasn’t expecting a plain white one that simply read: Eggs.

Awesome Find
 Dollar stores are known to have some pretty cool finds. Then again, random stuff + cheap cost = good bargains. It works. Anyway, I was stocking Easter eggs the other day, when something shiny at the bottom of the box caught my eye. I kinda laughed to myself (easily distracted much?), but I still saw the light glinting. So I reached down to see what it was. It was a coin from China that apparently had fallen out of someone’s pocket while he was loading the box. Wow!! Pretty nifty.

I Must Post.

Yes, indeed. Not posting is resulting in intense nightmares. I have dreams of being stuck in the store at all hours of the night. Between shoplifters and people who just won’t leave, it’s pretty horrific actually.

So, let’s see. Easter is just over now. (Happy Easter, by the way!) It was pretty crazy: we sold out of Easter baskets by Tuesday? Thursday? Something like that. But yeah, I’m sure you wanted to hear all about that.

Funny things you missed:

PG-13 for drug references … mistakes.
 ”Do you have drugs?” Pardon me? “Drugs? The ones you lay on the floor?” You mean, rugs. “I said rugs.”
 ”Do you have that bag of pot … ?” Potting soil.

Random ShoutOut of the Day
 Happy 21st birthday to Rob, the Subway manager …. it’s rather strange how that works that I know his birthday … and his age …

Mostly From the Eyes of a Two Year Old.

We have two adorable twin girls that come in, named Gypsy and Cinnamon. (I refuse to comment on my opinion of those names). Anyway, they are pretty hysterical with comments such as:
 ”Look, Mommy, a meatball!” [No, honey, thats a watermelon.]
 ”There’s ABCD’s on this!”

Fire … or Not
 A volunteer firefighter came in and bought some bleach and ammonia. However his reply was strange, “Could you double bag it? I was climbing with the bleach and ammonia up the ladder last time, and the bags broke, so it spilled all over the floor.”
 My question is, why was he climbing up the ladder in the first place?

The people that crack me up are the ones who want to get out of the store, and then decide they like the store too much. For example, two women were shopping together, and the one was complaining of a headache. The second woman (who didn’t want to be there) replied, “You have a headache from shopping. Now, be strong and walk out. Oh, look at that!”

What Thought Process Dollar Stores Encourage.

Apparently, ones of much randomness. According to one woman, everything reminded her of her grandfather. (And no, I honestly have no idea why she said that.)

Murphy, the crazy cash register, is still at work. Mostly for evil, but sometimes good, and sometimes good and evil at the same time. Like yesterday, when a random bucket was on the counter. No one knows where the bucket came from and who it belonged to, but I accidentally sold it to a couple who also wanted giftcards. They took it home, but wow. How did that work?