Strange Titles at the Dollar Store

So there I was sorting through lipstick. I found names such as “Whispering Dunes”, “Chocolate Fondue”, and “Toyko A Pink Pink”. What is this world coming to?? Have we lost all decency for names? At least name it something simple, like Grey, or Dark Brown, or Light Pink. Or have some imagination like Misty Grey, Chocolate Brown, Very Light Pink. Don’t give in to the temptation of naming lipstick after objects that have absolutely NOTHING to do with lipstick.

And Dollar Alley also has some very interesting building ‘bricks’. It has a word in English and Chinese, as well as an accompanying picture. But some words are truly lost in translation. Take a look at these:

apparently all irons are sad

 

notice the red tomato in green stuff.

Chick now rhymes with book.

 

The word for sewing machine has been completely lost.

 

This one was really lost on me - but according to popular opinion this is a picture of ice cream.

 

The scary thing is, I’m working tomorrow. I’m anxious to see what new things will show.

Chinese Doesn’t Translate Perfectly

Story of the Week
 So, my brother came in Saturday night with my parents. He enjoys just looking for the weird stuff in the dollar store and pointing it out to me. It was pretty strange when the legos read “colorast; no toxicos” in English.
  However, the Bow and Arrow took the cake. Perfectly named “Shoot Hero”, it read:
            New Toys Set King Power Good Day
            Have the Athletics Game of the Special Meaning
            To Rank First Among Similar Products The Bow and Arrow Combine
   Wouldn’t you love to have the ‘Shoot Hero’ Bow and Arrow, only available at Dollar Alley?

Sometimes, things get misplaced or misfiled. You’ll find toys in the medicine aisle, cups in the office supply section, and hammers in the party aisle. However, when I was going through the card slots, I found one labeled under Father that read, “Today, You Are 2″. Boy, what a difference that would make. Today, you get to act like you are 2 – no responsibilities, no problems. But then again, you have to eat whatever you are given, you are often turned down when you want to give stuff, and diapers are another story. Maybe being 2 isn’t so great after all.

I occasionally have customers buy similar things who don’t know each other. However, Friday night was the first time that two completely different customers (a teenage girl, then a dad and his son) bought the exact thing within five minutes of each other: a large purple bag, and the multi colored tissue paper pack.

Random Saying of the Day
 ”I really appreciate the fact that your register says ‘ka-ching’.”
 It’s even scarier when this customer goes out of her way to point this out to other shoppers.

Interesting idea: Have you ever thought of putting crepe papers over your lights in the ceiling. It gives an orange, blue, green, whatever-the-color-of-your-crepe-paper glow to the room. Just be careful you don’t put it to close to the bulb: you might burn the house down.

Speaking of bulbs, there are definitely some people who are not the brightest in the pack. Like a woman whose bill was 3.06 and wanted to give me all 96 cents of her change … only to get 92 cents back.

A Kim Story
 We have some halloween bags out (of course), one of which is a purple witch with orange hair. We had one on the door very low to the ground. Well, a little two year old boy walks over to it, and pointing, says, “Mommy, this looks like Daddy!”
 I would say she was rather embaressed. Little kids are so honest – too honest sometimes.

This Post is Dedicated to My One And Only Special Toy Cat.

So, why dedicate a post to a toy cat? Well, you see, this isn’t just any toy cat. This is a very special, immensely rare, only one of a kind, toy cat. I wish I could put a video on here of this beloved cat, but I cannot as I do not have the equipment. This cat could only be found at the Dollar Alley in Pennsylvania. This cat is astounding. It deserves a whole website to be dedicated to it. But let me explain why.
          You see, normally toy cats make ‘meowing’ noises, as regular cats do. This one however is very unique. Instead of a cat sound box, it has the sound box of a pterodactyl. So yes, my cat sounds like a dinosaur.
Someday, when I have a video camera, I will put a video of this amazing cat on here. For now, you will have to take my word for it – and all the various strange people who will admit to witnessing this strange phenomenon.

So, what’s new? Well, I’ve been working at the store for several days now without updating. That being said, I have an enormous post to write! But hang in there. It might just make you crack a smile.

Random Question of the Day
 Do you have baby oil gel? It’s for my dog.

It was pretty funny today when I opened a box marked “gift bags” … only to find tongs and barbequing utensils.

From Kayla’s View
 ”Today a woman asked me if we sold calendars with ‘January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and December’ just like that. Has anyone ever sold a calendar that’s not in that order?”

 It’s always nice when customers welcome me back. I always think of them by interesting names like the dog lady, the crazy lady, that sweet older guy, that random guy with the beard, the crazy guy, the one who thinks the world is going to end … and it makes me wonder what on earth they call me in their heads. That cashier? The ‘other’ daughter of the owner? Oh that crazy one who tries to make me return what I’m actually buying because she thinks I already bought it? Or maybe they think of me as the one that says ‘Thank you … for telling me …’ when all they wanted was something we didn’t have in stock.

 We have a newer item at Dollar Alley: Name Pens!! Yeah, it’s packs of three pens with your name on it for only fifty cents!! Pretty crazy right? There’s some random names too, like Ebony (but not Ivory), the letter U, the letter W, some really random spellings. But I was thinking, what an awesome gift, especially for only fifty cents. You could give them to yourself (for example, Dave), or to your friends (like Josh, or Jordan), or to your friend’s friends, that you’ve never even met, but you know that they exist because you’ve heard them mention the name before (like my friend’s friend, Patrick).

And to finish it off, Murphy is still back to his old tricks again. Now Dave denies that this is even possible, as Murphy has been put away (or has he?). But I know the truth. Like today, when I stood up, and ran full force into the shelf with the side of my head. Only Murphy could make that possible.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

>EDIT< I did add Kayla and Jordan to The Characters page. If there’s anything you’d like me to change (or if you want to completely redo it) let me know.

People At Work Will Call You Crazy

So, I’ve had this babysitting job for years, once a week, and they know that I work at Dollar Alley. Well, yesterday, I was babysitting only a half hour before work, and the five year old and I had a sticker fight. (You know, who can stick the most stickers on you.) She then proceeded to stick all her stickers on me, saying, “Now you have to wear these to work!” When I asked why, she responded with, “Because people at work will call you crazy, and call you Crazy Alyx.” She laughed and walked away.

If that wasn’t crazy enough, work called me shortly before I left babysitting. I answered the phone, and was greeted with, “Hi, this is Miss America.” Just checking to see if I was willing to work late (which, of course, I was).

So I get to work. It’s already pretty busy. At 4pm, we had about 30 people in our tiny store (I’m beginning to think we should start a record – and then try to break it How many buying customers can we fit at one time? ). I ended up working with Jordan and Josh (yeah, Josh actually worked, kinda). It was pretty cool. Time seemed to be flying, and even though we got a lot of stuff done, it seemed like we’d done absolutely nothing.

After some horrendous balloon popping experience (and fear a woman had crashed her car when a balloon popped), not to mention some mass confusion over the unheard, unseen BJ coupons, we finally started slowing down. By 6:30, we only averaged about three people at a time.

Of course, as soon as Jordan left (which was fine with me – it was getting dark out anyway), it picked up again. I was beginning to average 10 or so at a time, and with held transactions and some random little kid handing out silver paper, it was fun but definitely crazy.