Yes, sir, I worked both. Insanity has now been redefined.
Thanksgiving Eve
Thanksgiving Eve was really really crazy. There was a constant stream of people, but oddly enough, the time didn’t seem to go by faster. We could feel the minutes going by even though we were the exact opposite of bored. I was working with Kayla (God bless her for putting up with me).
First off, about ten minutes into the shift, this woman came in with an absolutely grating voice. Have you ever met someone like that? If you haven’t, be glad. It’s one of those absolutely high pitched voices, usually accompanied by a personality that seeks to be in control, and can’t make up her mind if she wants to leave or not.
Then, a minute later, came a woman who ordered five mylar balloons, three latex with hi-float. Of course, that was the perfect time for the hi-float container to stop working. So it turns out we had to take the black stopper off. So, after soothing this woman’s fears, she walks out with her balloons. Halfway to her car, Kayla recognizes a calendar on the counter as hers. I run it out to her. I come back in, and groan. There is one of her balloons, still behind the counter. So I ran all the way out to her car with it. Voila. Chaos.
Ok, please have some decency. There are some thoughts you should keep to yourself, and there’s different ways to voice thoughts that need to be spoken. But a second upon entering, do not say ,”Oh, they have nothing in here.” Even more so, when you ask someone to show you something, don’t say harshly, “Wow, they might actually have something we need. That’s ironic.” One of these days, you might get something said back to you.
Some people are just, well, dumb. Sorry to put it so plainly, but it’s the truth. For example, the woman who ordered a yellow mylar balloon, then told us that she thought it would blow up a different color (with a mylar!). So, we had to blow up a gold mylar for her as well – and once again, she was disappointed.
A Kayla Story
(These stories are so random. Poor Kayla.)
“Alexia, you won’t believe what just happened. A woman came up and informed me that she had used our aftershave, and that it had gotten everywhere. I was in too much shock to respond.”
Then, Kayla found that she had to clean up the shelf – no easy task on a packed night.
Random Saying of the Day
”I’m on a mission. Does it look like it?”
Oh, and Murphy’s presence was very obvious that night. Between the hi-float breaking down (and then magically working again in the middle of another huge order (we had quite a few)), the credit cards all refusing to scan, and some random objects attacking us in the back room, one couldn’t help but admit that Murphy has returned.
Black Friday
Black Friday was ironically less crowded than Thanksgiving Eve. However, it was still very busy and very insane: a little more so than your typical Dollar Alley day.
Dollar Alley is one of the few (if not the only) dollar store with the coolest sunglasses ever. We have ones of almost every color at one point or another, weird designs, even decorative stones occasionally. However, I never would’ve guessed that we would one day get in a pair of sunglasses with eyes on the side. I’ve always heard the phrase, “eyes on the back of my head”, but why not eyes on the side as well?
I’d like to pause here and dedicate this paragraph to a turkey named Frederick. He was Kim and Dave’s Thanksgiving turkey, lovingly prepared by Cassie. Cassie named him, and talked to him throughout the day. I can imagine some of the conversation:
Oh, don’t be afraid now. No, being eaten is your life purpose. Oh sorry, did that hurt? Wow, you were getting rather plump here around the midsection … we’ll just trim you down a little. Oh Frederick, you silly. It’s more like plastic surgery: we remove the meat, and you end up a thinner bird! *under breath* although like plastic surgery, it will probably kill you.
Random Item of the Day Information
I found a candy cane gelatin mold. Underneath a picture of a beautifully displayed Jello Candy Cane, it read, “Take me to a party and leave me.” However, the mold did not hold the gelatin yet. So are you supposed to bring just the mold? Or the mold with gelatin in it? Or maybe just the tag …
This story definitely tops the cake. It’s proper to save the best story for last, and this is pretty out there.
I was stocking some Christmas dog biscuits in the pet aisle. A woman and her preteen son entered the aisle and were getting closer to me. As customary as a polite worker would do, I asked very kindly, “I’m sorry. Am I in your way?”
“Aren’t you always in the way?” she said harshly. The answer shocked me. What? I felt like a computer that had just hit a shockwave – unable to think or speak, much less do anything. Most of the time, people are pretty polite – or they ignore me. Not this woman. She spoke her mind; but it didn’t end there.
She continued on for about five minutes (in a tone that made this sound like a lecture) about how you will always be in the way in retail and that you’ll never be able to not be in someone’s way and that you should just give up trying to stay out of people’s ways. While my mind was still in absolute shock over this woman’s relentless tirade, she says, “Well, it’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. Am I right?” I was finally able to mutter a slight, “Uh, sure,” in response. At least, I figured that was the right answer.
In reflection, I think she was trying to encourage me to not worry about pleasing everyone (which I wasn’t), but it could’ve been done much, much differently. Some people just have really odd ways of expressing their thoughts.
